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It’s the 21st century, and there shouldn’t be any argument anymore that motherhood alone is a full-time job. And, it is exhausting 24/7 on-demand job and often invisible labor.
Now, we all know care work is not the mother’s alone to carry, but many of you argue dads still need to be told sometimes because dads can’t always read mommy’s cues for “help!”
Being direct — instead of silent treatment — should work on dads (or men in general). But perhaps in this case of one husband, he wasn’t getting it. You see, the mom of his kids locked herself inside a room the whole day “to play video games and get her first break from parenting in two years.”
“I haven’t had a break since my 2-year-old was born,” the stay-at-home mom of four kids ages 10, 9, 6, and 2 posted on Reddit, according to Parents.
Her partner works every weekday from 9 to 5 as a web developer. “He told me I didn’t need a break, that it’s easy to do my job. I ended up screaming that the next day, he is tending to the house and kids and that I was locking myself in our room and playing video games all day.”
Complicating an already touchy situation was the mother-in-law (MIL). The same article wrote that MIL called the mom and said she couldn’t do that to her family and called her names for ignoring her family to play games.
ADVERTISEMENT – CONTINUE READING BELOWWhen the mom wasn’t “ignoring” her family, this is the work she did daily, according to the article, that will be familiar to ALL moms:
- wake up at 5:30 a.m.
- setting out clothes at 6:30 a.m.
- cook and tend to her toddler
- make her husband’s lunch
- get kids logged on and set up for school
- help kids with school while entertaining the little one
- feed kids
- deep cleaning
- laundry
- make dinner
- run errands
- bath
- bed
- more cleaning
- sleep by 10 to get up and do it all over again the next day
When the mom turned to the Reddit community to ask if they thought what she did was wrong, many sympathized with her situation. However, many, too, sensed there “could be deeper issues” that require better communication with her husband or, better yet, counseling.
Many members on our Facebook group, the Smart Parenting Village, know the mom’s situation all too well. They may not lock themselves in a room to play video games, but they turn to something like #SPconfessions because, like Reddit mom, they find it hard to tell their hubbies.
Here’s what one SP Village member wrote: “Kakatulog lang ni little one (LO) after a tantrum…I have no friends or relatives nearby. I don’t want to bother my mother and siblings every day…Same with my hubby, madalas hanggang sa bahay nagtatrabaho pa din sya. Kahit na sinasabi ko na wag na ngang dalhin sa bahay yung trabaho and just spend his time kay LO, pero di talaga maiiwasan.”
CONTINUE READING BELOWRecommended Videos“I’M SUPER TIRED,” wrote another desperate mom in all caps, punctuated with a crying emoji. “Hubby is working out of town for three months, so kami lang ni LO at sister ko ang nasa house — work from home here. Trabaho sa gabi, bantay ng 3 year-old sa umaga.
“Ako na din linis bahay and everything since si sister working naman sa umaga…I don’t have enough sleep and rest. Feeling ko sasabog na ko. Wala lang ako malabasan ng pagod ko. Pag kay hubby ko sinabi ito pipilitin niya na naman ako mag-resign.”
Not all dads are the same, of course. The dad below stood out because he has, well, experience.
“Daddy here,” he began. “Naging stay-at-home dad ako for almost two years sa first three years ng anak namin. Wifey and I decided the best option would be for me to leave work first since my work allows me to do that. Ako rin gumagawa halos lahat sa bahay habang si wifey ang kumakayod.
“Mahirap pala maging full-time stay-at-home dad, but all my time was focused on our baby and wifey. One the best decisions in my life. Sana makatulong.”
An empathetic husband, one who understands that care works needs to be divided between him and his wife, goes a long way, especially for mom’s mental health. Don’t you agree, moms?
If Reddit Mom only knew the term ‘sana all,’ she would have said it by now.
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